


Goemon’s Bar Incident

by your_average_gay_weeb



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28869555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_average_gay_weeb/pseuds/your_average_gay_weeb
Summary: Goemon has finally mastered the usage of the modern phone.That mastery get him and the gang kicked out of a bar.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Goemon’s Bar Incident

**Author's Note:**

> I will not apologize for anything

It had taken a while, but Goemon finally understood how to work his phone. Grateful that they wouldn’t have to bother them for help any longer, Jigen and Lupin left his area to decide on dinner. While they talked, he looked around his home screen, wondering where to go. A certain app grabbed his attention, and he tapped on it curiously. Once in the app, he realized he needed to turn up his volume. He raised up enough so only he could hear and wandered around the app for the rest of the day.

A week later, Lupin and Jigen dragged him into a bar. They moved to the dancefloor after a few drinks, leaving the rest of their glass contents with the sober Goemon and his thoughts. After a while, he pulled out his phone to scroll through the app that had now consumed his soul. About ten minutes later, a woman came over to him. She tapped on his shoulder, startling him enough that he almost threw his phone.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” He turned to her after turning off his phone and hiding it in his top. “I just wanted to ask if a handsome man like yourself came here all alone.”

“Do not call me handsome unless you are going to hand me some of that badonkadonk.”

“E-Excuse me?”

“I said, do not call me handsome unless you are going to hand me some of that badonkadonk.”

A few heads turned in their direction as their discussion turned into a confused and unusual fight. It didn’t take too long for their voices to reach the dancefloor, where Goemon’s partners had been for a while. Lupin caught onto his voice, not paying attention until the samurai said the sentence louder than the previous times.

“Oh fuck.” He ran over to the ever-growing crowd as quickly as he could. Jigen followed, slow and out of loop as to what was happening. He tried to ask him, but the money man did not respond.

“Goe-Goemon!” His eyes move around at the sound of his name. “We gotta go!”

“But Lupin, she called me handsome and refuses to hand me some of her badonkadonk!”

“You don’t know what that means! Now come on, we need to go!”

“I am not leaving until I receive some badonkadonk, Lupin!”

Jigen eventually understood what was going on and joined him in trying to get Goemon to come with them. The argument continued, and the only thing that stopped them was the barkeep yelling at all of them to shut up and leave. They grumbled all the way to the car, not a word being spoken until they reached the quiet stretch of road that led to the hideout.

“Dammit, Lupin! This is all your fault!”

“Don’t you think I know that already? Geez!”

“What kind of idiot downloads a child’s app onto another person’s phone?”

“TikTok isn’t a kid’s app! It’s for teens, and I only downloaded it because of the time Fujiko took my phone! I was bored and he left it at home while he was training!”

“Excuse me, but can someone please tell me why my actions were apparently wrong?” Goemon spoke up from the back seat.

“You were asking to touch that lady’s tits, pal. You pretty much became Lupin.” Jigen made a harsh turn, causing said man to bump into him.

Goemon was thoroughly embarrassed for the rest of the night. Lupin tried to cheer him up saying it wasn’t too bad, but no words could patch him up. Once at the base, he went straight to his room and threw his phone out the window.

**Author's Note:**

> Like the second time I saw the badonkadonk tiktok I thought of Goemon saying it and I couldn’t stop myself from doing this.
> 
> Again I’m not sorry
> 
> Edit: I am a fucking idiot and didn’t realize badonkadonk means ass not tiddies im not changing to work but I need people to know that I realized my mistake and am very upset with myself


End file.
